mandag 9. februar 2009
a lot of the time when i'm walking somewhere or when i'm just waiting for someone, i'll see something and i get all these ideas in my head. for example, it will start snowing, or the clouds will float away from the moon just as i am watching. a lot of the time it's words, sometimes drawings too. it really bugs me, because when i get home, i can't seem to remember what i was thinking. and even if i do remember, i can't really seem to get it on paper the way i want to. it just sounds stupid, although in my mind it seems okay. i guess i'll just have to try enjoying the things that happen when they happen. maybe it's a good thing that i'm not able to put it into exact words. the moon is always going to be beautiful to me, so i guess it doesn't really matter if i write it down. i guess i just feel the need to express it, or save it somewhere, it would be terrible to forget.
søndag 1. februar 2009
tommorow i'll wake up with a vocabulary and knowledge of the things that appeal to you, the things that you like, the things that you want me to talk to you about, the things i want to talk to you about as well. still i can never know it by heart. i will always need some kind of script to cheat with, it seems like i can never be what you want me to be. still, i had a dream about you last night, you walked in to the party i was at. i sat there drinking my wine quietly. when i saw you, you did not see me, so i pretended i did not see you either. but i did. and then i woke up, in my friends room, lying on a matress on the floor. warm by the dream of you, cold because i knew it would never come true.